I saw someone talking about a friend of mine one day on social media and they said, “I don’t like this new version of her, she’s mean.” At that moment, I removed this person from all socials. You see, growth changes people and that’s okay. The person who was talking about my friend is not someone who could see the benefits of this change. They were stuck in a negative headspace which made it seem like my friend was mean. My friend set boundaries that excluded that person and they didn’t like it.
When we begin to grow and change, it is essential to set boundaries in many areas of our life. We put up barriers to protect ourselves from people who are stuck in their ways and can’t see their excuses for what they truly are in their life. They’re holding themselves back and we have embraced our power to grow.
When we are in the growth cycle, we are more vulnerable to crashing because our hearts are wide open. It’s similar to surgery. If we let the bacteria in the room, we could end up with an infection and have to begin a whole new protocol to clear it up before we can begin healing our original wound again.
Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives. We are meant to grow and change. I’m thankful to have such supportive people in my life who cheer me on!
If you’re someone who is going through a growth season, here are a few pieces of advice that might help you.
Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you.
When we are focused on where we’re going, we forget to slow down and pay attention to where we’re at right now. We get lost in the search for what we think we need when in reality we need rest. It may seem like we’ll get more done when we’re constantly going and doing, but then we get a cold that makes us rest. This is because we weren’t paying attention to what we really needed. What is your body telling you?
Be protective of your space and who has access to you.
When you’re in a vulnerable place and working through the pain that you’ve endured over the last however many years, it’s okay to stay home when your friends want you to go out. When you chose sobriety and you don’t want to fail, it’s okay to avoid the places that make you want to indulge again. This is YOUR life and you have the ability to say NO at any moment without worrying about what others say. Their reaction to your response is not your responsibility.
When others react in a negative way to the way that you’ve changed, it means everything about them and nothing about you.
There will be people who get upset when you decide to do what’s best for you because they no longer benefit from who you were being. It’s okay to choose better for yourself even if others get upset. Every minute of every day is a chance to do better for yourself. Imagine yourself a year from now looking back at your life right now. Are they happy with the way you’re living? Your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to YOUR life. Do what makes you happy.